Johnny Depp

The favorite opening question is “Where are you from?” I usually say “California” then they look at me quizzically and say “Ahmeerika?” “Yes! Hollywood!” I exclaim with the same excitement I have when finding someone who knows my hometown. My enthusiasm was only matched by their reaction to meeting someone from Ahmeerika, which tripled at the thought that I was from the movie capitol of the world. They would say “Why you don’t be in movies?”

So I mention a silly movie I did with Johnny Depp. Johhny Depp! I’m thinking this is going to send them into a fit of excitement so tremendous it will make Ahmeerika seem like Rhode island. In return for my blustering I get a blank look and the unexpected “Who is theese Johnny Dapp, I don’t know. He is Actor?” Turns out Johnny could walk around here free as a sparrow and no one would know a thing as they hawked their tiger balm and hash. They do, however, know who Jack Sparrow is and the Governator.